Yes, This Will Be On the Test

Writing, Reading, Laughing

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Stealing Characters

Yes, I admit it.  I am a character thief.  Beware if you know me, you will probably end up in a story.  Everyone in my immediate air space is unsafe.  I’ve fictionalized my entire family, pets included.  This habit of mine makes the likelihood that I will someday end up in the witness protection program highly probable.

Here are some of my offenses:

  1. The Direct Steal: No one is immune.  I’ve taken your looks, your accent, your clothing, your occupation, your quirks, your morals, that questionable hair-do, and possibly even your name.
  2. The Mash Up: I love it on GLEE when they take two songs and combine them for a mini medley.  My favorite character mash up is to take two people who absolutely HATE each other and morph their beings into one person.  Ah, inner conflict.
  3. The Magic Genie/Djinn:  I am personally attached to this infraction.  I take the unfortunate incidents in your life and give you a fabulous outcome instead.  Make no mistake, I give the bad stuff to someone else, but you get a free pass this time.
  4. The Flaw Machine: Remember the “spanking machine” that we of a certain age were subjected to in grade school on our birthdays?  I pummel you with the exposure of every character flaw I have uncovered in your soul.
  5. The “That’s not you.  It’s one of my college boyfriends.”: Swear.  Totally swear.  The likeness is purely coincidental.
  6. Stranger Danger: I love to sit on a bench with my notebook and spy my hiney off.  I lift people and their dialogue off the street and slap them in my journal.  Las Vegas and Disneyland are my two favorite thieving venues.  If you see someone furiously writing in a notebook…flee…it’s me.


  1. Okay, that was hysterical! I do this to some degree too, or actually it's more of a taking characteristics from different people and molding them all together until I get the right blend. Lovely post and thanks for stopping by my blog:)

  2. Oh this is too funny! I love #5. Honestly I didn't write about my college crush, dear.

  3. That's why having a small journal always is so important ... Is there anything better than people-watching for ideas? Real life provides the best inspiration!

  4. Thank you, LIndsay. Lovin' your blog. You had me at the picture of George from Seinfeld!

    Heya, Stina. I did get caught by one of my beta-readers who identified the leading man in a MS, "You didn't fool me. I knew who you were talking about." Thank goodness I was flattering.

    Agree, agree Joanne. Life keeps the funny, bizarre and heartwarming coming full speed.

  5. Aren't we all a little guilty? My kids have all been reincarnated into my fantasy realm.

  6. I never realized how dangerous you really are, Leslie. I better watch my step at critique group! Hmm...

  7. When you put me in a book will you take away the wrinkles and big nose? Thank you!

  8. Don't worry, Lisa, I use my power for good.

    Julie, I will let you look at sketches so you can choose a look that works for you.

    Guilty, Laurie? I'd say, resourceful.

  9. This is hilarious! And I've totally done this : )

  10. Thank you Bekah. If any of us every give up writing, we can become private detectives.

  11. Hey Leslie, thanks for visiting and following my blog:)

    This post is witty, clever and downright funny. I love it! Happy thieving!

  12. Thank you, Words Crafter. May all your thieving be bountiful. Welcome.

  13. Leslie, congrats on your blog! Very entertaining.
    Best, Eileen

  14. Hi, Eileen. I'm so excited to hear from you. Thanks for stopping by.